Stupid Mouth


The name is Elaine or Ien or Pssst or Hoy ...or whatever suits you

...from the city of Davao

...26 with fine lines and wrinkles already

...short-haired, two-eyed na! (thanks to constact lenses), right-handed, flat-footed

...wants to be a Buddhist and a United Nations interpreter someday

...confused about life in general

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Wednesday, June 8

(for the information of everybody)

Plan B is terminated. i'm going back to Plan A. hindi kaya ng oras at bulsa ko. backout. retreat. i'm waving the white flag this early. i'm not really the kind who gives up easily. fight kung fight... but i know, realistically speaking, i can't win this battle.

what is Plan B? Plan B is Law School. i took the entrance exam of ateneo de davao law school last may 21. sabi ko kay Lord, kung para sa akin 'to, kahit ipag-entrance exam nya lang ako. that was the last day of all entrance exam days. bahala na. hindi naman ako bobo 'no! papasa siguro ako. after a week, i got my test result. 725/800, 99 percentile rank. i even got perfect (800/800) in critical thinking! it's a sign! i should enroll... now na!

...pero hindi pala yun ganun kadali. a sem's tutition is almost P21,000. that's almost half of my sem's salary in ateneo. yes, teaching is not a lucrative job. books: an average of P1,000 a volume (according to the dean)... and God knows what else can be demanded by the course! classes are from 5-9 pm everyday. exams on saturdays. for this sem, i'm handling arki thesis class (again!), which extends untill 7:30 (TTh). i have a whole day class at UP mindanao every saturdays. ano yun, hindi ko na lang papasukan? if i prioritize law school over work, that's stupidity. clearly, i have no choice. up goes the white flag.

ako na ang humihingi ng paumanhin sa mga kaibigan kong hindi ko sinabihan tungkol sa plano kong ito (lalo na kay Jazzie). you guys couldn't help me anyhow. i dug this abysmal hole of depression by myself. kala ko, "this is it!" now i'm drowning with frustration. i guess the greatest consolation i got from this is to know i'm good in critical thinking... and i was able to apply it in this situation.

when i tried to enroll myself last week [hoping i could twist some arms], i queued with this rich-looking chinese girl ready to enroll herself in law school. i peeped through her documents and saw her exam results. she has 54%-ile rank, enrolled under probationary status. well, she has money to pay for law school. she need not work to pay for anything else. how lucky!

capt. backfire at 10:56 AM

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