Stupid Mouth

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The name is Elaine or Ien or Pssst or Hoy ...or whatever suits you

...from the city of Davao

...26 with fine lines and wrinkles already

...short-haired, two-eyed na! (thanks to constact lenses), right-handed, flat-footed

...wants to be a Buddhist and a United Nations interpreter someday

...confused about life in general

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Tuesday, March 2

So What??

Back in high school, all I ever wanted was to prove to my grade school teachers that they made a wrong decision to take me out of the honor roll. You see, I attended only one school for grade school and high school, and a small school at that where everyone knows everybody. Proving myself worthy of honors would also prove that they played favorites, that I can also be like my sisters (who all had well-decorated chests come Recognition Day), and that I can be good when I want to. So I succeeded...

What I did not know, when you reach a pinnacle like that of grabbing valedictorian, people expect you to be up there forever. So what if I went to UP-Diliman and decided to go back and teach? So what if most of my friends who studied in Davao are now working in Manila and are more "successful" in their careers? So what if my salary's below P20,000? So what??! I know, some of my high school classmates smirk at hindsight and probably think, "Who's got the better education now?!" Well, tell you what.... I DON'T CARE!

But I somehow understand why they think that way. Probably they're thinking of consistency. If I cared so much of what others thought back in high school and strove for others' approval, why do I feel otherwise now? I don't owe them an explanation for that. If they want consistency, well, take this: I LIVE FOR MYSELF! I live for what I want. That was what I wanted then, and this is what I want now.

As what my good friend once said, "So what?"

capt. backfire at 11:49 AM

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